manic depressive

When you need a therapist but liquor is cheaper. When you have to cry but the ducts are dry. You find a friend but you can't hear their voice. When you want to be trusted you but all you do is lie. There is no returning that gift or prize. When you like the music but it hurts your ears. When you are the steadiest epileptic they ever did peer. When your blood is punk and your bones are blue. When your eyes are asleep but your brain fails to fall. When your elevator don't go down, instead it goes up. And up, up, up that's where you go. And down, down, down, is where you earn to be. Because up there your bubble gum don't pop, and your shoe don't shine. Your stamp don't stick and the address is wrong. Your mom don't listen and your dad don't love. Your brother moves away, and you're the only one left. And left, left, left that's where you go because right never worked and wrong never corrected. So you find your way down after all, because it's dark and dreary, and painful as fun. And you feel at home because you can't see a thing. And you walk and all you feel are strangers. And you cry and all you hear are favors. And you sob and all you see are saviors. That's not what you want. That's not what you need. A slap in the face, and crack of the whip, to the back without a slip. You don't want them to care. You don't need them to listen. You're stuck in this rut, and that's fine by me. You sink to this hole, and its comfy as hell. You are so numb you feel. You are so high, it's all you can do to get by. You stare at that wall because it's more interesting than anything there outside. You have no pride because of your face you hide. Your spinal cord is but a thread. When your head is found deep down in that stomach of yours. When your eyes are glossy and you can't see for shit. When your ears bleed and there ain't a fucking cure. When you talk wrong. When you walk crooked. When your arrow is straight but leads to a maze. And you're the maze, you're in the maze, and you have the map, and you see the end. And you walk along your twisted hallways. And you crawl below your sculpted doorways. And you climb above your tainted walls. And then you realize there was an exit sign all along. Big and bright and lit with green. And you go fuck, fuck, fuck, you to me. And that's how you go and how you know. And your leaving with knowing you are going because NOW YOU'RE GONE.